Lost In The Woods

It was only a 9-mile run. I was 25 years younger and 20 pounds lighter. Seven of us had been hiking, canoeing and mountain-biking the remote land of lakes in Northern Wisconsin for over two weeks. This run, the final leg on our journey, would return us to where it all began.

After dismounting our bikes, we were given instructions to wind our way through the thick woods by following a trail of tiny red flags. I was excited, maybe a bit overconfident, about finishing strong and outdoing the other six, all in their twenties, who had called me “Pops” from day one.

For me, it was all about winning.

I ran with ease, without a care in the world, decked out in yellow shorts, a flannel shirt, wool socks and water logged tennis shoes. A light snow brushed against my face.

Then, like a fist to my stomach, I realized that I had not seen a red flag in a very long time. I cursed the approaching darkness, then yelled a few expletives at myself for my competitive and grandiose attitude toward the others.  

I slowed my pace and started re-tracing my steps, back and forth, back and forth, hoping and praying to see a familiar spot—the place where I had stopped paying attention, made a wrong turn and left the designated path.

But every tree, every stupid rock looked the same. Panic took over. I ran faster, breathing hard, looking and searching for one of those freakin’ red flags. Nothing.

As the sun disappeared and the snow continued to fall, I figured that my friends were back at base camp, showered, finishing a hot meal and hopefully putting together a rescue team to find “Pops”.

Finally—I’m not sure why—I stopped running. It seemed like an hour, but was probably less than five minutes. I stood completely still and waited until the only sound was my slow, shallow breathing.

There was no “still small voice”, but I picked up something in the night air—a whirring sound—far off in the distance. It would fade and come back. When I moved in its direction, the rustling leaves muffled the sound, so I had to stop again. And wait. And listen. The whirring grew steady and louder until I recognized the sound was that of 18-wheelers barreling down the interstate miles away.  

Four hours later, I was sitting in front of the fire with a full stomach and six grateful friends. My triumphant romp through the woods had turned into a humbling, 16-mile jog on a narrow black top road.

The lesson wasn’t lost:  When I’m in the woods...stay with the team. It’s seldom—if ever—about winning. When lost, confused, discouraged or afraid—stop running. Be still and wait until the silence and the solitude take over and the only sound is my breath. Then, listen.

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A Great Gift

 
My master's thesis in graduate school was written to help people create a "biblical” family experience. My whole identity as a human being was built around that premise and purpose. It was my obsession. The counseling ministry I ran was actually called THE WORD ON YOUR FAMILY.
 
Like most of us in the first half of life, I was devoted to and passionate about my life’s “calling”. I had a lot of good answers for my followers and clients, and let them know that while I was far from perfect, something above average (and who wants to be average?) and something beyond the normal human experience (and who wants to be just human?) was possible if we kept up the good fight. Those actual words never fell from my lips, but the strong implication was that a spiritual ideal for the family approaching perfection was possible.
 
How did I miss the fly in the ointment? I was naïve at best, presumptuous at worst—that I could lead sincere and trusting couples into marital nirvana.
 
Like many people I know, I invested most of the years between 25 and 65 working hard to overcome my defects and disappointments. To be successful.
 
In spite of the bumps and bruises along the way, I remained determined to get it right, overcome and heal the shortcomings, wounding and failures of my parents, to pull off the family of my dreams and raise children with far less emotional baggage than their dad.
 
The great irony is that such persistent striving feeds and fuels the very dissatisfaction we want to escape. There’s never enough. It’s never quite right. Acceptance and deep contentment feel as if we’re “settling” for something less than God’s best, not the destination, the safe harbor we were created for.
 
I know better now. I’m on a different path. After becoming disillusioned with many outcomes of life—the prefix dis means to come apart from and it felt like I was falling apart—I started learning to accept the dysfunction I was constantly resisting and slowly came to embrace my incurable flawedness as A Great Gift
 
Our own defectiveness or brokenness is not the enemy—it’s just the way it is. Not something to get around or overcome or ignored or even forgiven, but the very framework in which we are found, deeply loved and accepted by Him. Please think about that for a while.
 

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Who Writes This Stuff?

by David Beavers 

Have you read the Bible lately?

Try it. Try something like Philippians or the Gospel of Mark.

Who writes this stuff? Really. Some of it seems so “out there.” Where do people get such ideals? Where do their perspectives come from?

The writers of Scripture were human. They didn’t always live up to the ideals they wrote about. Hardly. They often missed the mark. Fell way short of their own ideals.

That shouldn’t be a surprise. Most of us fall short of our ideals about daily life, raising kids, handling money, and more. But when we see that gap in others—the chasm between what they say and how they live—we’re often quick to judge. We question their integrity. Label them as hypocrites.

One of these writers had the audacity to tell us to love each another as Christ loved us. He’s the same person who helped a group of men to murder Stephen, the first Christian martyr. He actually stood by, holding their coats, while they did the dirty work.

His name was Saul—a.k.a.,The Apostle Paul.

Once, the Apostle Paul got so fed up with a situation he kicked a colleague off his missionary team. Paul was impatient, because John Mark was immature—a real momma’s boy. Some time later, Paul requested by name that John Mark become his assistant. This same John Mark—the momma’s boy—went on to write what we now call The Gospel of Mark.

Then there is Peter. The man who called himself “a witness of Christ’s sufferings” was nowhere to be found when Jesus was hanging on the cross. He was hiding—cowering in fear. A complete no-show, in spite of all his bravado and overtures of undying loyalty to Jesus.

Me too

I am a man who went to seminary, served as a pastor, taught the Bible several times a week, counseled people. And then....

Then I made some horrific choices that shredded relationships, undermined my integrity and destroyed my confidence. This period in my life was nothing less than a spiritual wilderness.

Why am I telling you these things?

None of this is meant to demean Paul, or Peter or even me.

My point is that there's hope.

We know what happened to Peter and to Paul. Some of you know the stuff that happened in my life. The fact that I am telling you there was stuff is a miracle.

If nothing else, a transformed life should point to the possibility that God is up to something in our lives—all our lives.

It is not always apparent to people watching, especially the critics, but God never gives up on us. He persists in our lives, not because we are basically good folks. Far from it! He persists because He is good. And He is faithful.

And did I mention that He loves and accepts us
without condition? Well, He does. Even when
we are in the wilderness.

[I recently read a blog by Ken Boa, which shaped some of my thoughts in this essay. Thanks, Ken]

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PMS and Setting Goals

by David Beavers 

Because I work with an organization comprised mostly of women, my title for this newsletter could be a little misleading. So, let me explain.

Over the last several years, I have been mentoring and coaching several men and women in the areas of personal development and goal-setting.  Once I was asked point blank, “How are you, David, at setting goals?”

I replied, “When it comes to setting goals, writing down my goals—I’m an animal. I’m really good at it. I truly love setting goals, and know from personal experience the spiritual, emotional and financial benefits of putting on paper my objectives for the coming year.”

But in the past twelve months, I discovered that my approach to goal-setting has been a bit off. In setting goals, I had always began with what I wanted to accomplish. Over the years, I have learned and taught this approach in setting goals:

  • Decide what you want
  • Put it on paper
  • Develop a plan
  • Make it your passion
  • Do it on purpose
Today, I know better.

It's better to begin with who I want to become
not what I want to accomplish.

This insight was a significant breakthrough for me: I’m responsible, not only for what happens—what I pursue—but also for who I become. The kind of person I become grows directly from the choices I make, the books I read, the people I hang with, what I look at on the Internet, and willingness to subject myself to the wisdom of others.

My Very Own PMS

Thus, began my quest to develop and write a one-page Personal Mission Statement—my very own PMS.

With the help of Tommy Newberry and his materials, most notably his best-selling book, Success is NOT an Accident, I plodded forward—writing my first, second and third drafts of a PMS. Today, I have a working, though not perfect, one-page PMS that I read every morning.

Setting goals remains a huge passion. Some of my goals have not changed. Others have become more defined. Less general, much more specific. As Roy Disney once said,  “When your values are clear, decisions are easier.”

Writing a PMS forced me to become crystal clear about my values, personal priorities and the relationships I treasure most. Today, I am more focused. Setting goals, combined with my PMS, makes it easier for me to eliminate from my life what might be considered good things, so that I might concentrate on the best things for my life.

So, the first step in setting goals is not deciding what we want, but  who we want to become. A PMS will help us get there.

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If All That Jesus Does...

If all that Jesus does is tell me to be a better person, his words will lead me to despair if I keep screwing up, or pride if I’m able to do most things well. This is not good news.

The best I can hope for is a culturally defined morality, always shoring up my own sincerity and relative righteousness. Trying to appear “okay” or good enough.

This broken understanding of how life works will always lead to insecurity and pretense. Why? Because this kind of hope is built on the shaky and shifting ground of human approval. It results in a truly barren existence, one that is completely based on my performance and how others think I’m doing.

But if God is the One who forgives and loves me as I am…not as I ought to be…and then starts growing his own disposition, his very life, within me, I can have real hope. I start by humbly accepting his radical acceptance. An acceptance that requires nothing for me to prove, defend or protect. I no longer have to pretend to be someone or some thing I am not.

This should be called good news. But it’s difficult to believe, because it requires that I abandon all hope in myself. That’s the hard part, and that's why so many different beliefs dominate the religious landscape.

We’re usually not aware of it, but we are obsessed with ourselves and addicted to finding ways to prove our worth. We may think of ourselves as religious or spiritual, or we may take pride in not being religious at all. But underneath we’re all the same. Always striving for some kind of validation.

Here’s a clue. Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

I love the way Ken Boa paraphrased this well-known Beatitude: “I’m most blessed when I live each moment as though I’m in desperate need of God’s grace, for in that moment I increase my ownership in the kingdom of God.”

The truly blessed are people who have bottomed out on their own goodness. They are completely bankrupt and know it. They have nothing to offer. At least nothing to offer God. The game is over. The pretense is done. The pressure is off.

So, what do we do? Try breathing.

Exhale, releasing any hope of ever doing enough.

Inhale, counting on nothing but the gift of God’s utter and complete acceptance.

Now this is good news.

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Intimacy versus Intensity

What are the most satisfying moments in life? I often find them in the presence of someone who is honest, safe, easy to talk to, and has no other agenda but to be with me.

Pauses with people like this are extraordinary gifts. In my experience, they are easy to miss because they are completely unearned. They show up when least expected. And, this is the big one, they do not require drama or intensity.

The absence of intensity tends to throw me, explaining why I easily miss, or dismiss, these special connections. I’m often in a hurry, on to the next thing or trying to get past stuff that's in my face: email, Facebook, phone calls, and...the list goes on.

It’s only since moving into the second half of life that I have begun to learn: intensity is not the same as intimacy.

Silence is not all that bad. Even between friends. Especially between friends.

At first, silence is a bit unnerving. It usually comes after small talk is spent and the only topics left have to do with other people—which, for most of us, is just another place to hide.

I am richly blessed with a few friends who don’t go down that path. For them, a close relationship trumps the awful compulsion to be right, to look good. They love and listen in a defenseless way. They almost always want to share something from the heart. Like my friend, Peter.


“David, how long has it been since we had coffee? Three weeks? That’s way too long. I’ve missed being with you. I’m hurting. I’m still hurting since losing my brother. It’s been two years. I keep thinking I should be better by now, but I’m not. I keep waiting for him to call me.”

Silence follows. That’s all that is required. There isn't anything for me to fix, to prove or to change. Not even to tell him, “You’ll be okay." I am grateful and honored to be invited into this place in his life.

Another unexpected gift that's
scarce, priceless, free:
quiet intimacy.
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The Courage to be Imperfect


It takes courage to be imperfect.

Yes, you read that right: it takes courage to be imperfect.

Many of us in the Juice Plus+ business have been brought up to believe that we must strive for perfection. Which to the heart often means that we should be like the person who seems to have it all together.

All of us notice people who do it better, faster and prettier than we could ever hope to do ourselves. We take on enormously high standards from the outside and start applying them to ourselves.

Then, when we fall short, we berate ourselves. We become convinced that because we can’t be perfect, we probably don’t fit in. We doubt ourselves.

I’m one of those people always telling myself that I need to get better, stronger:
  • Read more
  • Set Goals
  • Dream Big
  • Build wide
  • Work on personal development
  • Be consistent
  • Lead by example
On the surface that feels like a lot of pressure. And that’s the problem: it’s all on the surface.

We seldom take the time to be quiet, to get alone and to listen. Listen to our heart. Listen to a seasoned, experienced mentor. Listen to God. But when we do, they all tell us the same thing:

We’re not perfect. We’re not complete. And we never will be. In fact, perfection was never the plan.

The plan has always been to go out and live boldly with all of our imperfections.

That’s what makes certain people attractive—not that they have it all together, but that they’re so incredibly comfortable not having it all together. They know that Juice Plus+ is what they do, not who they are.

That’s why I love this business so much. It encourages us to be who we are, stumbling forward, making mistakes, getting up and going after it again.
  • We don’t have to have the last word…to always be right
  • We don’t have to give wellness presentations like Julie Herbst or Kathrine Lee
  • We don’t have to Fast Track in 3 hours or get to NMD in 15 months
  • It takes courage to allow our friends to think of us any way they want to…without our getting all chatty, trying to convince them otherwise, explaining our motives or defending our actions
  • It takes courage to say, “I don’t know the answer to that. Give me a couple of days and I’ll see what I can come up with”
  • It takes a lot of courage for me to say, “David, a lot of people aren’t going to get this. But that’s OK”
It takes courage to be imperfect. But you know what? I think we’re up for it. I think we are ready to go out and blow the roof off of this business, touching and changing thousands of lives—completely happy knowing that we’ll never get it quite right.
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"Sara Rosati, a 9-year-old special olympics athlete, understands that 90 percent of life is about attitude. We could learn a thing or two from her."
~Steve Adubato

Atypical Inspiration, in the NewJersey Monthly: August 20, 2008

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WINNING LEADERS: The Key Ingredient

Charisma...
Communication...
Vision...
Persistence...

All of these are essential ingredients of leadership. But the most important one? Trust.

 
Do people on our teams trust us? Can they count on us to keep our word? Are we leading by example? Do the men and women who look to us feel safe in our presence?
 
Trust. It’s the Key Ingredient. Without it people may give us some of their time, but they will never give us their hearts.
 
How do we earn someone’s trust? The answer could fill pages, but when it comes to our business model, I see two primary answers.
 
First, we earn other people’s trust by “doing it.” By walking the walk.
 
We cannot lead others unless we have done what we are teaching others to do. There is not a Fast Track to leadership. Everyone must pay her own dues, run his own course. Everybody starts the same way.
 
People we would lead are thinking to themselves, “Okay. Tell me how you got started. Show me what you do. How do you follow the system? Go ahead, let me see your stuff.”
 
John Maxwell, best-selling author and leadership guru, puts it like this: “Your walk walks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks.”

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WINNING LEADERS: Leadership is Earned

It is a leader’s privilege to touch and change other people’s lives. Isn’t this always the case? Most of us in positions of leadership are where we are today because someone first touched our lives.

What makes a leader? And how did they achieve the privilege of changing people's lives?

There are a lot of wannabes. People who love titles. Power. The spotlight of the podium. But leaders in Juice Plus+ start from a very different place. They know that leadership cannot be bought. Nor is it somehow bestowed like an honorary doctorate.

Leadership is earned.

The key to becoming an effective leader is not recruiting people to follow.

The secret is to be the kind of person that other people want to imitate, to become the kind of person from whom they want to learn.

The man who marked me the most in in the areas of leadership, mentoring and coaching is Dr. Howard Hendricks, my professor at Dallas Theological Seminary. For more than 60 years, this man has modeled his own definition of a leader:

 

“A leader is a person with a compass in his head and a magnet in his heart.”

 

We want to follow people who know where they are going. We are drawn to individuals who have ideas and values, along with guts and energy, to go for what they believe in. That’s the kind of leader that we want to be.
 
It always comes down to this: A leader is someone who knows where he is going and is able to persuade others to follow him.

 
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Rekindling the Inner Spirit

Albert Schweitzer was one of the 20th Century’s most influential thinkers, honored by the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952. Here’s a statement that he made on the subject at hand:

 
“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
 
That’s our job: rekindling people’s hearts. It is the essence of true leadership. And this is what successful leaders in our business do.
 
I don’t know most of you reading these words, but I do know a lot of personal things about you. That’s because all of us want, and need, the same things. We need personal validation. We yearn to feel connected. We want our lives to count.
 
Most of you know that Juice Plus+ is not a typical multi-level business. There is not a lot of flash and hype. People attracted to Juice Plus+ are not only saying “Show me the money!” They’re asking, “Show me how. Show me how to make a difference. Show me how to make my life count.”  
 
Leaders know this about people. Leaders understand that when a person’s deepest longings are recognized, validated and empowered, that person will follow.

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